Ugly politicians have rights too!

Since being told that the new First Minister of Scotland was a Fat Panda Eyed Wee Bastard Madame Mao has been in Edinburgh armed with bamboo shoots hoping to catch him to stitch his penus into an aphrodisiach pouch.

I was forced South of the Border, however, when I learnt that my comrade Kelly Hoare of the Australian Labor Party was receiving councilling after sexually harrassing a Government driver.

Apparantly she said to the driver 'why don't you come inside and fuck me?'.

Well, why not? Instead making a compliant to the Department of Finance and Administration, the driver should have been overjoyed at being chosen.

Whenever the Chairman was visiting one of the hundreds of special bunkers he had built around China he simply sent security men out to abduct nubile girls from nearby villages. This brought great joy to there families who knew that, despite the fact they might never see them again, their daughters were serving the people by being subjected to Mao's bloated and vile carcass bearing down on top them after a good lunch.