Meanwhile, back at the revolution ...

Venezuelan broadcasters have banned The Simpsons from morning TV on the grounds that it violates regulations barring “messages that go against the whole education of boys, girls and adolescents.”

In the interest of smashing western imperialist gender constructs it has been replaced by Baywatch Hawaii.

Referring to “Baywatch, General Manager German Perez Nahim of Televen affirmed that he was “hoping it will continue to have a good rating, because ‘The Simpsons’ worked very well — so much so that it had the highest levels of viewership for that morning timetable in the history of the channel.”

Will he, won't he?

Gordon Brown told the Chinese Prime Minister that he would be attending the Olympics. His spin doctors say that he meant he was attending the closing ceremony and never meant the opening ceremony. Easy mistake.

Meanwhile, as the Flame of Harmony, made it's way across London, Xinuha, the official Chinese News Agency, reported that he would indeed be attending.

I know who my money's on.

Max Mosely - wasn't he in hotel babylon?

You have to hand it to Max Mosely, head of the global motorsports federation the FIA. He's come out fighting and is now suing the News of the World for their expose of him having his jolly's with hookers dressed as prison guards.

The point that Mosely's lawyers are making is that the paper's report of Nazi connotation were entirely false. How do you argue with this:






Mosely's father was of course Oswald Mosely, leader of the British Union of Fascists in the

1930s which is why the British press have become so excited about the prison guard link.

Still, as long as it gets Tibet off the front page ...

I wonder what made CID think that Shannon Mathews step dad might be a kiddy fiddler?

Chinese Embassay pulls out of Torch Relay

Lot's in the papers this morning about the Chinese Ambassador, Her Excellency, Fu Ying, pulling out of her commitment to be one of the 80 bearers as the Olympic Torch Relay heads to London's O2 Arena.

Fu Ying, yesterday in London

Beauties of the Russian prison system

It's not just the industrial military complex of the former Soviet Union that recognises talent when it sees it.

Women's Correctional Facility UF91/9, which is 20 miles north of Siberian capital, Novosibirsk is also getting in on the act.

The former Gulag has been running a beauty pageant since before the breakup of the Soviet Union in 1991.

Originally contestants made their gowns out of plastic bags from the prison kitchen but they nowadays receive materials and help from warders and the competition is featured on local TV.

Inmates get to make gowns in three categories: Greek Goddesses; Flower Gowns; and Uniforms of the Future.

The winner is voted on by guards and unit heads as Miss Spring while the runners up are Miss Grace and Miss Charm.

"My prison days continue to haunt me" says former winner Natasha Patalakhova, 29, who served eight years for armed assault.

I'm not bloody suprised.

Miss Atomski 2008ski

Well it's that time of year again when Madame Mao, as a former Miss Comrade Shanghai 1935, gets to announce the winner of the annual Miss Atom competition to find the most attractive woman currently working in the nuclear industry across the former Warsaw Pact countries.

The lucky winner this year is Yulia Nagayeva who was born in 1981 and works for TVEL Corporation.