Madame Mao is absolutely thrilled to join with Coleen and all the gang at Man U in wishing ace striker Wayne Rooney all the best on his 21st birthday.
As a special commerative post we've found this picture of Wayne from the 24th October 1985 when his proud dad showed him off for the first time.
Who would have thought he would have gone on to live the dream as Manchester United and England's star player.
Who would have thought that fiance, Coleen would spend £75K on a watch, bag and golf simulator as his birthday gifts.
Luckily for Wayne his old mates on Merseyside stuck on the dole or in call centres on18K a year aren't peasant revolutionaries .
If they were Wayne and Coleen could expect to have his luxury party tonight crashed by young men in balaclavas armed with knifes and sub-machine guns who would kill everyone in the room, gut them and smear their internal organs all over the walls before stealing their jewellery to mark the shining path.
Phew, luckily Wayne will just get his hub caps nicked.
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