The real transisiton at Number 10

Madame Mao was somewhat disorientated by the orderly transition from Tony Blair to Gordon Brown that took place yesterday. As it is I awaited the customory arrest of supporters of the old leader and confessions that they were 100% deviationist sabatours. This did not take place. Yet.


Instead the transition that did catch Madame Mao's eye was the picture taken outside Number 10 of the moment Comrade Leo Blair ceased to be a picture on a mug and began the journey to become a a full blown D list celeb. At 17 I'm sure we'll see him on Celebrity Courtney Love Arse Bandit along with the gay Beckham children and the withered pap of celebrity that is Calumn Best.

Poor Lad.

Charlie's Angel (of death)

It has been remiss of Madame Mao to allow Comrade Diaz's courageous trip to Peru - wearing a bag emblazoned with a profile of the Chairman and one of his favourite slogans 'Serve the People' - to go without comment.

Comrades will be aware of the on-going People's War being waged in Peru by the Peruvian Communist Party (Maoist) better known as the the Shining Path to you and me.

The Shining Path advocated a peasant guerrilla revolution and was responsible for some 70,000 deaths. When they weren't bursting into bourgeois birthday parties in balaclavas and hosing down the teenage guests with hot lead they were murdering rival Marxists, trade unionists while reserving special hatred for factionalist splitters the Túpac Amaru Revolutionary Movement. (Spit!)

Here's the Shining Path Decleration on Human Rights:

Our position is very clear. We reject and condemn human rights because they are bourgeois, reactionary, counterrevolutionary rights, and are today a weapon of revisionists and imperialists, principally Yankee imperialists.

So frateranl greetings to Comrade Diaz and her decision to use her celebrity to bring to the world's attention the suffering of the peasant class in the land of the Incas. I formally add her name to the role honour of my celebrity acolytes which includes David Bowie and British MP Michael Connarty.

Comrade Facebook - where over a billion people are already sharing

At last modern technology has exposed the class schisms of capitalism. Research by the University of California has shown that Facebook is the preserve of the white educated classes and Myspace is for everybody else.

The study even showed that the US military force of occupation in Mesopotamia has banned Myspace as part of its campaign to stop soldiers blogging about the realities of life in the desert. Facebook - overwhelmingly used by the white elite officer corp - was not touched.

Long before Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 we knew that the percentage of poor Hispanic and black proletariat recruited to the army far outstripped their percentage of the total population.

As any student of communism will know the Internet was invented by The Chairman in 1972. He also put in place a People's social networking programme where whole villages were banned from talking, made to work in paddy fields and had their names replaced by a simple numbering system.

Even the facists experimented with social networking in the 1940s except they called it Volksbook and actually had the numbers tattooed on the inside of their members forearms.

We in the Politburo used to laugh at meetings and sing the theme tune to the banned US sit-com show Cheers "Where everybody knows your name".

Good times.

Who says the tradition of a 'good' lunch in politics is dead?

I got a crush on Obama

Madame Mao is devestated by the regressive tactics of this US Presidential hopeful.

I had such hopes of bouncing little Obama on my knee and now I will have to destroy him as a conspiratator and factionalist.

At least British politicians could never be accused of such overt sexism.

Pol Pot wins Britain Has Talent

Can you imagine my happiness as I was woken this morning by my tiny Comrade Manservant and the news that Pol Pot had been chosen by the public as the winner of the Britain Has Talent competition.

At last, a megalomaniac who caused the deaths of untold millions, has been recognised for their genius by the reality TV generation.

Perhaps now Simon Cowell will return my calls about my idea of rounding up everyone with a family income of more than $50,000, seizing their possessions on behalf of the people and forcing them to work the land.

The public would then get to vote on who would be executed based on how many relatives they were able to denounce following sleep deprivation and partial drowning.