Tony Blair's Historic Final Speech to Conference as Leader of the Party

With emotions running high in Manchester Madame Mao nipped out to Cupids to release some tension.

Obviously I disagree with prostitution as a male gender construct but I do enjoy a Thai massage. You can imagine my shock when the masseuse took her top off and asked me if I wanted any extras. "Extras!?!?" I said, "Extras!?!? - what do you mean?"


She pulled down a blind and there was a price list on it:

Full sex £25
Blow job £15
Wank £5
Sausage roll £1.50
Bacon roll £1.50
Egg roll £1.50
Tea 50p
Coffee 50p
Kit Kat 35p

"Are you the woman who wanked off Tommy Sheridan?", I asked.
"Yes" she replied with a wink.
"Well go and wash your hands and get me an egg roll".