The world's most dangerous terrorist

While everyone knows that the Chairman was the world's most dangerous terrorist with the death of nearly 40 million peasents under his belt, Madame Mao allowed herself an inscrutable smile at the work of the US military tribunal that uncovered the work of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

While only using slight torture the US authorities uncovered that Mohammed was the true mastermind behind 9/11.

Luckily for them, in a fit of remorse, Mohammed asked for a number of other offences to be taken into account:

• Planned attacks on Heathrow
• Planned attacks on Canary Wharf
• Planned attacks on Big Ben
• Personally beheading US journalist Daniel Pearl
• Organising Richard Reed the shoe bomber
• The Bali bombing in 2002
• Failed assination of the Pope 1995
• Plot to assinate Jimmy Carter
• Plot to assinate Bill Clinton
• World Trade Centre bombing in 1993
• Planning to attack the Sears Tower in Chicago
• Plans to attack the Empire State Building in New York
• Plans to attack the New York Stock Exchange
• An attempt to destroy Henry Kissinger's oil company in Sumatra
• Targeting of US nuclear installations and suspension bridges in New York
• Plans to destroy US and Israeli embassies in Asia and Australia
• Plans to mount a series of attacks on US Navy vessels around the world

Phew. The list goes on. One can only wonder where he found time for daily prayers and evil laughing.

If only Yates of the yard could apply a bit of waterboarding to Ruth Turner at Number 10 we might get some evidence that Lord Levy not only offered honours for cash, but also that he kidnapped June Ackland from The Bill, was reponsible for Diana's death and was shagging John Prescott at the ODPM Christmas party.