Reports reach MmeMao that troubled UK rock-star Pete Doherty has been photographed at a zoo feeding a penguin a marajuana cigarette. I feel unable to condone such animal cruelty as during the period of cultural revolution in China I was partially responsible for the deaths of millions of sparrows and other birds. Confused? Let me tell you a story.
It was the balmy summer of '58 and the late, great Chairman had declared sparrows to be an enemy of the state. NB: All those so-called dictators out there (I'm talking to you Kim); you haven't reached true greatness until an animal is declared an enemy of the state. It is hard to imagine how it is possible to kill hundreds of millions of birds in a year but when the Chinese set their mind to something it is always on a massive scale. Forgive me, I have moved off topic. So, the sparrows are enemies of the state as they are the reason for our crop failure and mass famine.
All over China peasants spend all day banging saucepan lids together until eventually the birds (or the peasants) die of exhaustion. As a result the next years harvest was spectacular. Unfortunately, the year after was rather worse, as with no sparrows to eat them, a plague of locusts destroyed all the crops and 30 million people died from starvation.
You can read more here. In the meantime here is a picture of some dead sparrows:
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